4 am I
Have to lay down
Can’t keep doing
This to myself
All the voices
Whatever seems worse
Won’t stop thinking
Can’t stop thinking
When I’m working
Nothing matters
Won’t get nowhere
No one wants me
To move back home
Or to stay here
I don’t fit right
I never fit right
When I think
About the future
There is nothing
I want to do
But find a bridge and
Hope it won’t hurt
When I hit the
freezing water
And then a wave of clarity
Finally comes to wash over me
These dark thoughts are just in my mind
And can only come out if I let them
Darker feelings
Move like rainclouds
A flood is rising
Behind my eyelids
I can’t see the
Silver linings
When the clouds come
storming over
I’ll go out in
The gale force winds
And see this typhoon
With my own eyes
This whole year I’ve baked in the sun
Dead in Florida 2019
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