"Dear Daisy, agent to James Acaster
Hi, my name is Matthew, and I’ve recently become a fan of James’ work after watching him on Netflix. When I learned that his new show is called “Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999” I thought to myself how well that would work as the name of a song. As I’m a songwriter, I took it upon myself to write a song with that title. I felt weird though, that’s James’ title, and although my song is meant to pay respect to him (the chorus laments on the fact that this song didn’t come out in 2016, and thusly will never be great) I couldn’t help but feel I was stepping in his toes a little bit.
So, I’d like to properly and formally ask if it’s ok that I have a song called “Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999”. I am willing to change “Lasagne” to “Lasagna.”
Thanks, Matthew Fastnaught"
lyrics
Up all night
Spooks and specters
Giving me a fright
My life’s a marsh
A consecrated blight
I feel in me
A dwindling urge to fight
I swear I’ll find a new place
I’m alone
Echoes of an all too
precious phone
A self imposed exile
On my own
Reaching out to no one
Should have known
This is how I wanted it
But this song isn’t from 2016
So it’s forever doomed to obscurity
And this song wasn’t written in 1999
So there’s no way in hell it’ll stand the test of time
And that’s just fine
Along the way
Something subtle shifts
And I’m ok
The downpour in my mind
Has gone on break
And this distance through the air
I’ll tolerate
I swear things have been healthy
I’ve come to know
Normalcy is boring
on the phone
It doesn’t fit the narrative
I’ve sown
Through these songs
Of misplaced sadness
Is this how I want it?
I named this song after a tour by a British comedian
His name is James Acaster and he has a special on Netflix I liked a lot
So I decided to name this song after his tour and so I emailed his manager asking
If this would be ok and no one ever said it was ok, they never ever replied at all
So if this isn’t cool I’m sorry dude
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